Happy Nine Year Anniversary BYSJ! Reflecting on 9 years makes me ponder who I was when I first considered opening BYSJ at the Westgate West Shopping Mall. It was the very beginning of my life as it is now. Anniversaries are about celebrating life, as well as recognizing the ebbs and flows that one inevitably passes through on the journey from that starting point to the present moment.

As many of you know, my mom died of Alzheimer’s at age fifty four. She was forty nine when she was diagnosed with the disease. Unfortunately, there is no defeating Alzheimer’s; there is a battle, but right now, always a losing one, as there is no cure. Many of you have experienced a relationship with dying in some fashion. For me, it was four long hard years of witnessing a life wind down to its terribly sad finish. It was awful to feel helpless and know that nothing I could do would change this course my mom was on. In time, I came to understand that this process was not about me, but about my mother, Donnadae. Once I got over myself, I rose to every occasion to give her in whatever way I could, right up until the very end: tossing the ball with her grandsons, sharing in her favorite ice cream; having the sun shine upon her face…an experience that brought her a true and simple joy.

Dying is inevitable. We all know this. Yet despite having this knowledge, it is very uncomfortable for most of us to deal with our own mortality. But, it can also be a huge gift in teaching us how to live. The open-eyed acknowledgement of our inevitable passing can shake up our entire sense of being, forcing us to question who you are and how we want to be in the world. And this can motivate us to grow and change. Looked at from this perspective it’s a true silver lining, the proverbial “blessing in disguise.”

Experiencing someone so close to me leaving this earth plane made me realize how ridiculousness my fears of dying were. It was a huge moment, the Universe shouting loudly in my ears “What are you so afraid of,” and “what are you waiting for?” The dying experience gives you a big kick in the pants that says, “You better get on with living!” And it really was the best way for me to honor my mom; to get on with this business of living!

So, I started to dance again, taking ballet lessons at Alonzo King’s school in San Francisco. I worked part time at an art gallery and learned how to professionally wrap gifts. (Yes, there is a way!) I studied black and white photography using my grandfather’s very old Canon 35 millimeter camera taking pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge creating a card line named after my mother. I learned how to ride a motorcycle riding both a Harley and a Honda. And, I started yoga. Yep! I wasn’t wasting any time. I was living.

I recall sitting with a good friend that I worked with at Il Fornaio. I used to say to her when I was in the height of all this activity that I just didn’t want to forget.What did I mean by this? Well, during this time, I was also a Hospice Volunteer. Hospice was a big part of my mom’s final eight months. They are the most compassionate and understanding group of people. It’s an organization that owns a beautiful mission about the meaning and quality in one’s life. Hospice recognizes the difficulties that surround all those concerned when a loved one passes. They go to great lengths to give the dying person and their relations a quality of life to the last possible moment, whatever that may mean for the situation. Hospice is not about dying at all, it’s about living.

The Hospice Director at the time was amazing. She was super strong and a great ambassador for this still somewhat unknown non-profit group. She told me that what many people struggle with are those years in between learning that someone is dying and the actual death. She said, “There is a lot of life there.” It was a great moment for me as I came to realize what my mom had instilled in me in those four years – life! That was the very thing that I did not want to forget: the relationship that I had cultivated with life!

In our culture, it is so ingrained in us to reach for the next best thing to make us happy, to make us feel alive. Our society sends us mixed messages on how we need to be. Dying strips away any of that pretentiousness right away. It keeps us accountable to what is real, to what is our true nature, to what is life.

So does yoga. It is my belief that stepping into a yoga class for whatever reason begins the process of creating a profound and intimate relationship to life, your life. And, not because of something outside your current existence, but through the awareness of the positive existence you have in you and with you right now!

Bikram has a great saying that negative thoughts are nine times more powerful than positive ones. He is right. And yoga is the single most powerful antidote to negativity that you can find on this planet! And, it’s just what we ALL need. Negativity comes in many forms: inflammation, lower back pain, depression, cynicism, heart disease, greed. Negativity is anything that removes you from your alignment to life, which is always positive.

The world is a confusing place. We need help in reinforcing the positive. We have to be self-centered in order to be centered. So, do your yoga and dismiss the negative. Wayne Dyer has a great phrase in one of his books which says, “when you change the way you look at things, what you look at changes.” When we do this, then we can follow the words of Gandhi and “Be the change we wish to see in the world.”

Over the years, we’ve celebrated our yoga, our relationship with our families and friends, our relationship with each other and our community. We’ve recognized and continue to honor that relationship we have with our Source. This year, our ninth year, as we open into new experiences in our new studio, let’s celebrate our relationship to LIFE!

For the first time in years, I went to a tree lighting ceremony in Santana Row to kick off the holiday season: 500,000 lights to be lit around the complex, Santa arriving on his sleigh, and carolers and theatrical performances going on throughout the evening. It was a sight to see so many people crowding together to share the illumination of the holiday. However, what made it special was the sea of children everywhere jumping up and down to see Santa, crying if they didn’t get a balloon or hugging tight to mom watching with fascination at the lights sparkling from the trees. I had intended to spend time talking with my friend; but instead, I found myself involved in the wonder and excitement experienced by her small child. I got caught up in the emotion of it all.

We are living in a very interesting period of time right now. From making history with a man of color in the White House to the largest financial crisis since the Great Depression are experiences that affect our daily routines. Some of the experiences are worrisome – like how to deal with pay cuts and lay-offs – and some are more hopeful – new opportunities to create a long-awaited change. In either case, emotions arise. Like sharing the enthusiasm of my friend’s child at the tree lighting ceremony or feeling anxious in traffic trying to make it in time for a Bikram Yoga class, these emotions are fleeting, impermanent. What is permanent if these emotions and situations are so vulnerable to change?

Situations in our world today are intense, however, we know that life ebbs and flows and there is always a higher level of learning available if we are present to note it. The areas we usually turn to for stability may no longer be as reliable and we may need to discover new ways to keep us balanced and strong during volatile times. Actions as simple as where you spend your money, to connections to your neighbors and community, to gift giving, can be subtle but relevant shifts in your personal world that hold great value. This year, a gift may be as simple as making the time to have coffee with friends. The circumstances du jour have required us to make decisions that focus on character building–an area within ourselves that is ever growing and strengthens our faith to endure the rough periods.

One of my most favorite books, May I Have This Dance, by Joyce Rupp suggests that the holiday season is a time to address our own “inner homelessness.” Reflecting on this, I can see how each of us, with our suffering, is being called to our own homecoming. It is now, in this period of time, to ask yourself if you have used the tools given to you to make the difference in your life that you’ve asked for. Have you translated your yoga practice into more useful forms of interpretation making peace with those areas of your life that have given you anxiety or despair? Whether you are a beginner or an advanced practitioner, you endure 90 minutes of stretching in a room that is intensely hot with a body that is different everyday. It takes huge doses of patience to stay the course despite how frustrated you might feel. Imagine how this exercise in patience transcends into other areas of your life that give you frustration.

Recently, I had the opportunity to see an amazing performance, Sounds of the Ocean, from the U-Theatre based just outside Taipei. Five segments using drums, tai chi and meditation to simulate sounds from raindrops to oceans roaring. Incredible. One scene had eight drummers tapping together in unison on small deeply resonant drums creating the sounds of a subtle rain storm, and then slowly building to a loud thunderstorm. The audience was completely captivated and enthralled and then suddenly, the drumming stopped. With the performers’ hands in the air, there was not a sound to be heard, except pure stillness.

I often hear from students how a good Bikram Yoga class can really change how you feel about something that has been on your mind. Within those 90 minutes, perspectives shift and somehow you come out with a better feeling about a once overwhelming issue. Stillness is the necessary component in making this shift happen. It’s the place where mental chatter stops leaving you in a neutral space. This is the soil from which blossoms an open mind, emotionless and detached- providing you the opportunity to see and act from a different point of view.

Wayne Dyer often states in his lectures, that we need to return to the place from which we came and know it for the first time. Or, stated in another way, he claims, “If you didn’t have anyone tell you who you are, who would you be?”

And, my favorite meditation from renowned business consultant, motivational speaker and author of E-Myth Revisited, Michael Gerber, states:

“I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts, I will not be taken by my thoughts. I have feelings, but I am not my feelings, I will not be taken by my feelings. I have a body, but I am not my body, I will not be taken by my body. I have a business, but I am not my business, I will not be taken by my business. Then, who am I?”

Such questions test our identities challenging the attachments on which we so comfortably rely on. Allow these challenging times and all they bring to fuel you in pursuing a holiday season that shifts from a busy routine into one that invites a stiller presence creating deeper relationships, spontaneous laughter, a forgiving heart, and more meaningful discussions. Develop your own Beingness. There is great permanence in this practice and a gift especially when change swirls without warning.

Having completed five compulsory postures in the yoga competition, I felt a bit winded and my heart was pounding. It was time to begin Full Cobra pose. Only two weeks ago, I finally got up high enough to grab my knees with no help from my yoga pants! I remember laying on stage reciting the name of the pose, protocol for this type of event. During my next inhalation, it would be time to get up and get up high! Up I went and, for a moment, I got stuck! I was still in the space of struggling with my strength in the lower part of my spine to reach that sweet spot where I could lean back more easily and grab my knee. I wasn’t yet at the point where gravity could assist. All I remember was saying to myself, “you are not going down, you can do it. And I did.

I came in 2nd Place in the women’s competition. Congratulations to Paul Knisely, BYSJ instructor, for taking 2nd Place in the men’s competition. Both of us will now go on to compete in the Nationals of the Bishnu Charan Ghosh Yoga Asana Competition Feb 7 – 8, 2009, in Los Angeles. A big thank you to BYSJ students and staff for encouraging us to compete and to those who went to San Francisco and watched!

The first posture for all competitors is Standing Forehead to Knee. All Bikram Yoga students know how challenging this posture is no matter how many years of practice you have under your belt. Right away, in front of an audience, you must control your emotions and override any hormonal response or adrenaline rush as you assume and maintain this physically demanding pose. Having participated in the competition three years in a row, I noticed a huge difference in my ability. As in years past, I felt pressure, anxiety and a slighty shaky leg. However, this time my mental focus and confidence were dominant. I had transcended my fear. But, it was in Full Cobra pose that I really noticed the extent of my growth. Getting up as much as I needed to in order to finish the pose correctly took more than strength: it took immense willpower.

For over ten years, like you, I have heard over and over again about the power of a still mind. “Meditate, concentrate,” as the dialogue goes in class day after day. It is the ability to cultivate a single point of focus that allows us to travel further on the path of our hopes and dreams. We master the art of eliminating distractions in their various forms and exercise determination, faith, self-control, willpower, tolerance, and patience. Focus is the mental muscle strength that keeps us aware and enables us to move with clarity and purpose. On Bikram’s Beginning Class CD, he states that “our body is a medium that we use to keep the mind in the brain for at least 10 seconds.” Such discipline extends beyond the yoga room. One of my favorite artists, George Winston, said that before he starts a concert performance, he does what his father taught him: feel his feet on the ground after he sits down in front of his piano before he begins to play.

This year, I found real pleasure in three minutes of personal, authentic expression combining my mind, my body and my spirit. In each pose, I was able to hold in a moment of stillness. And, it’s as if that lingering has helped to instill a greater sense of freedom and peace within me even now! Don’t underestimate the impact of opportunities to get up on the “big stage” whether in yoga doing the “6 for 6” (completing 6 days a week of yoga for 6 consecutive weeks) or in another area of your life. Create a milestone marker to help you track the improvements you’ve made on YOU!

Many people have asked me why I do these competitions in the midst of everything else I have going in my life. I see competing as a chance to give thanks for something to which I’ve devoted ten years of my life. I also see it as a way to acknowledge the synergistic growth among all of us at BYSJ. “Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment. And when we introduce an intention in the fertile ground of pure potentiality, we put this infinite organizing power to work for us,” states Deepak Chopra, from his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. It is my belief that in our efforts together day after day, that we represent an infinite organizing power and come to realize potential within each of us.